Thoughts for Thursday :"If you fail to plan,you plan to fail!"Long post!

On Thursdays I like to analyze the happenings of the week past.I make myself sit still and think and allow myself to feel.
I ask myself "What are you feeling?" , "Why are you feeling this way?" If  something isn't working or I am feeling confused or upset  then I ask myself..."What are you going to do about it?"
I  post quotes and images related to those questions and the answer...about what I'm going to do to work the feelings or problem out.That being said...
This past week I've felt a bit frustrated. Perhaps I've been confused and feeling sorry for myself as well.
As I posted previously I have been a diabetic for the better part of 18 years. Throughout the years I went through many phases.I was in denial in the beginning, then I shifted that attitude and educated myself as much as possible regarding diabetes and the consequences of not keeping it under control.I have done well controlling my glucose levels at times ,but mostly I've done terrible.On & off and on & off trying different things or not trying at all. I have nerve damage from  the diabetes being out of control.I've gained tons of weight and lost weight here and there always gaining more back.I've done weight watchers, overeaters anonymous , you name it.It's been a struggle.In May this year when my 56 year old aunt died prematurely due to complications from diabetes,I knew I had to take action .Once and for all.I will not let the disease kill me.Not. Without. A. Fight!
One of the things that really worked for me in the past is the RAW FOOD DIET. My glucose levels come down and my energy goes up.fantastic.So I decided to start a Raw Food cleanse on my own in July .Did very well.have stuck to it for the most part.Lost 5 pounds. Therein lies my frustration.
Five pounds?Aghhhh!I'm so impatient!I realize there are a lot of factors in my case which make weight loss slow....but I still get FRUSTRATED.

 It can be  difficult living this life style because most  people don't understand it and everyone wants to give me advice--against it!!! *sigh I am not going into this blindly.I have read books,blogs,web sites all on Raw food living.Give me some credit here will ya? However  the major  thing is worrying about being able to keep it up because it gets expensive to eat this way (even when I don't buy all organic) and I still have a family to feed and so many bills to pay . But I don't want that to be an excuse.I know very well that most things in life can be dealt with if you have the right attitude.

I am happy to say that I am NOT giving up.In fact starting on Sunday I am doing another raw food cleanse .This time with the support of the coaches on and other people that have chosen this path.I will do this for the 3 weeks and then I'll re-evaluate things and see where to go from there. I'd like to be 100% raw vegan all the time, but I will settle for 80% .We'll see.
For now I just have to keep it simple and remember what on OA sponsor once told me:
"If you fail to plan,you plan to fail"
I don't want to fail.My life depends on it!

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