Thoughts For Thursday

This is my first post of the year.I haven't done a Thoughts for Thurday in quite a while.I think it's a good place to start.
I've been thinking a lot about my life lately.What I've done and foremost on my mind,what I haven't done and have yet to do. Most times I'm down on myself for not having reached my full potential...It feels like I haven't accomplished much  of anything.However there are other times when I think I am exactly where I should be,because there are  lessons to be learned..For example ,I have always felt that I was put on this Earth to help other.It's my calling,it's in my blood,it's what drives me.Only when I am doing something for someone else do I feel complete.I need to make a difference.I believe I do.Perhaps not in big ways,but in small ways that mean a lot to someone. That is why I love my job as a medical assistant.It gives me the opportunity to show compassion and caring .In the practice I work for we see our patients with a lot of frequency.We become very friendly.Bonds and friendships are created with the patients.A lot become like family.When one passes away,I take it personally.I won't ever be able to NOT take it hard.I won't ever be able to be detached.It's not part of my make up.That is one reason I decided against becoming a social worker or a nurse...I get too attached,too involved. I'll take kids home with me if they live in an institution(done it),I'll go visit with a patient at home (do it now). I believe in showing people that you care,I believe in saying I love you and showing that love with actions every day, while people are alive! It's sort of funny to everyone ,but I am a hugger.
Yes, I hug the patients that I am very close to, good bye...I don't know if it'll be the last time I get that privilege.So I don't take any chances!lol
I understand how some may see this as inappropriate behavior for a professional person,to  become a friend.I do it anyway. I'm lucky enough to work with a warm ,wonderful nurse practitioner that feels the same way, so it's OK!
Tonight she and I attended the wake of one of our very near and dear patients.We hugged his family and cried with them.Is this unprofessional?I don't think so.Humane?Absolutely.That's what I choose to be .
I learned he was loved by many.He had a tough life,yet a great one. He could be playful and funny and temperamental.He was caring,loving and generous.
I was honored to know him.
I'm glad I went tonight,to say our final good byes. I know this gentleman,this gentle man, is at peace.He missed his wife terribly and I believe he is with her and two of their children ,who had passed away at an early age.
I will miss seeing him in the office.We all will.He will always be present,along with many of our other friends who have passed before him.They're all around us.
I am comforted by the knowledge that we show them all love,dignity and respect while they are in our care.
That is what matters.
I often think about my father, especially when it comes to our elderly male patients.I guess I see him in them,because I didn't have the opportunity to be with him.
I would've loved to be able to help take care of him during his last years .But it wasn't meant to be.It's just something that will always be in my heart though.
Final thought: Remember to express your loveand respect for people whenever you can!You don't have to be all "huggy" and "mushy" like me!But you can be if you feel it! Just show your love in actions every day!
Don't take anyone for granted, ever!
Til next time!

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