Thoughts for Thursday

"Always have faith in yourself. It is not easy to live life sometimes and face the world with a smile when you're crying inside. It takes a lot of courage to reach down inside yourself. Hold on to that strength that's still there and know that tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities. If you can just hold on long enough to see this through, you'll come out a new person - stronger, with more understanding and with a new pride in yourself from knowing you made it." ~ Kathy Obara

I was looking around tonight for a saying or quote to match how I've been feeling lately and this one seems just right.
I don't usually share too many  really personal things on this blog.I don't think anyone reads it anyway. There are more interesting,more beautiful and well written blogs out there, so it's not surprising to me.But I keep posting to it anyway, because I enjoy it and I am following some pretty interesting and,creative people that inspire me
Any how ,I digresss from the point of this quote.
I feel like writing a bit  tonight ...although like I've mentioned before,a good writer I am not.
(Excuse my negativity..can't help it right now)
I felt myself walking at the very edge of my depression at the beginning of this year.
When my beloved dog Scooby died on New Year's morning it seemed like a bad omen. 
 Even though I've been trying to fight it I can feel my self slipping right into that dark place of hopelessness and negativity.It's not a place I like to be.I've been there before and I don't like what it does to me or how I feel when I'm in that place.I have been trying to hold on ,putting on my smile,going throught the motions.Tryin to stay positve.But it feels like i am losing my grip.I can't even begin to describe how I feel inside . But here are a few  descriptive words that describe the turmoil inside of me: unhappiness,inpatience,disgust,disappointmentloneliness,sadness,incompetent,stuck,
Tired.

I feel like I'm standing all alone ,verty still while the world moves right by me and I can't  move ! But one thing I've never been is a quitter.I have faced many hardships in my life and have overcome abuse and other difficulties but Ikeep holding .I hold on to hope.To faith.
I have this odd feeling that I am waiting...that something is going to happen, that the time will come when things will be different.Better. Until then I will keep on going, doing what I must to get through. ,,,and all the while I will keep posting random things  and my art too ,even if it's not so good , on this blog because it makes me feel better and maybe just maybe I'll make a good friend or two.
So in conclusion, this quote helped me to realize that:
I can't give up.
I must keep going.I need to find my inner strength.
I have to have courage to face my fears and insecurities.